My Deepest Apologies

My Dearest Larry, I am truly sorry for the late letter my love. But today was not a very good day, I went running down the slip'n'slide and i didn't slip at all but instead i was pickled in a dungeon where they stole all of my bagels and I didn't even know the King of Lunch Ladies was going to be there so I had to jump in feet first all along thinking of how you must be awaiting my letter. I can only hope to reach you earlier tomorrow to explain my self.....

Forever yours, Bartholin